1. I would like each of you to tell me if you are happy or not happy in your missionary service and why?
2. Secondly, do you feel you are productive in your missionary service or not productive and why?
The questions you asked us to report on, are very interesting because this is something I am asking myself. I love missionary work. I love being involved. I love serving. But this week was hard, but the good ALWAYS outweighs the bad. We were suppose to have two baptisms this Saturday, and we didn't. Gwen Ross, was unable to be baptized because of her husband. He didn't want her to be because of his involvement in his church. It was such a confusing week. Here we see people who get baptized all the time and you question if they are ready but Sister Ross was more than prepared. She wanted it so bad but she couldn't act on her agency because of the respect that she had for her husband. He didn't tell us we couldn't come back or that she couldn't come to church BUT she wasn't able to act. I was mad, frustrated, confused, sad, and so many other emotions. I didn't understand what Heavenly Father wanted me, Sister Dunford, or even Gwen to learn. SHE IS READY HEAVENLY FATHER!! WHY CANT SHE DO THIS?? Those were a few things I asked while praying. I have trust in Heavenly Father but it just seemed unfair and from PMG it kept running through my head, "As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." I was prideful last week. I wanted Gwen to enter into the waters of baptism but I wanted her to enter into that covenant on MY time, not the Lord's time. We aren't sure why Sister Ross isn't able to at this time. A member we have been serving told us, "Sisters, you did your part. You brought her the gospel! You helped her convert. Now its the Lord's will what happens."
Later in the week, Elder Shelley asked us when do we feel like we are fulfilling our purpose the most. The answer..when we are teaching. And if we follow PMG we need to always be TEACHING! I know sometimes I don't always give 100%, thank goodness for the Atonement. I cannot worry about what I cant control, but worry about what I CAN control. I control my attitude, I control how "wide I open my mouth", I control my obedience. No one else has control of that. I have my agency and I can act on it.
So long story short, I am HAPPY about my missionary work. Why? because its a constant battle of learning. The Lord guides this work. He gives us multiple chance. We just had a return missionary in the ward speak yesterday and one thing he said was if we saw all the good that came out of our trials we wouldn't work hard for our "prizes". I love missionary work. I can confidentially say, I have no regrets. There isn't room for regrets in this gospel, only improvement. It remind me of a quote from Elder Nelson, "We all need to remember: men are that they might have joy—not guilt trips! We also need to remember that the Lord gives no commandments that are impossible to obey. But sometimes we fail to comprehend them fully."
Next part, do I feel productive? Well, baptism wise, no...not at all. BUT I know I am doing what the Lord wants me to do. I know how to utilize the time as a missionary and find meaningful activities. I have really grown out of the habit of saying, "Well what should we do now" Instead, my mind is constantly thinking about back ups and we pray we aren't sure and we let the Lord and His Spirit guide. I need to stop being a perfectionist and remember the Lord and keep reading and re reading "A successful missionary" PMG PG 10.